Random Thoughts

As those of you that probably haven't seen my blog for a while, I changed it! I like it a lot, except for the fact that the pictures of the equinox does not stretch all the way across the brown area at the top. Oh well. Not important. I'm trying to not be so perfectionist, so this is more practice! =)

But anyway, life is flying by. I can't believe I only have two weeks until mom, dad, and Neal come down here. We have been talking about that day before I even left for Mexico so it is weird that it is already here! I'm trying not to mourn the time passing but I am. I know I keep talking about how I am going to miss the people, the language, the culture, and the differences but I think about that everyday. I miss my family, my pets, my friends, and Neal but living outside of reality has been kind of nice. However, I'm afraid of having culture shock when I return home just from adapting myself to a completely different place, culture, and language. I have learned a lot about myself while on this journey and I hope that doesn't end when I return home. I have gained a new appreciation for my family who is waiting patiently for us to reunite again and my friends that are doing so well in school but are also a void in my life right now. We all miss each other but it has become something accepted in my life since I have been without everyone for 3 months. I thought these days would never come, but they have, and of course, now its going to be bittersweet. I feel that God is teaching me not to be anxious about anything or think at all about the following day because he can always surprise me and he has surprised me.

Something can happen that changes our lives forever. This experience in Mexico will never be forgotten. It will not be a lost memory in the back of my mind or little souvenoirs (sp) sitting on a bookshelf or table. Everything has meaning and a purpose. Now I'm just trying to figure out what my purpose in life is which I can tell will be a lifelong journey. My alone times with God every morning have been refreshing. I have no reason for not doing it in the past but for me He has to bring me to a point where I can't do anything but rely on Him to actually listen to his soft voice, to be able to see his creations and glory all around, and to feel His tender hugs comforting me in times where I can't find comfort anywhere else. I'm so glad for those times and I pray that I would continually to seek comfort and peace in Him alone and not to take control of it all.

God has little by little been opening my eyes to His presence and His work in so many peoples' lives and how he intervenes. Little things like the rain stopping right before I leave for my internship, keeping me safe on bus rides that I don't feel safe after bus drivers checking me out while they are driving, not getting in any accidents on the buses, and allowing my uncle to be awake and not driving when he had his stroke. God is gracious and merciful. I am constantly learning what it means to bask in His glory and I pray that wouldn't stop when I return to my comforts at home. I also hope that He would put me out of my comfort zone when I'm at home. I'm getting excited to see what is coming my way. I don't know if I am out of a storm, in a storm, or going into a storm but I have a feeling that will be evident soon. But thanks to Liz, lately I have had her phrase of "Love the person, Hate the sin" stuck in my head because it has been something I have had to deal with this whole semester. This week has been going by slowly but this weekend was great. I had time to myself while all the girls went to a movie and shopping. I ate pizza to myself and just meditated on what God's desires are for my future. We will have to see what the rest of this week brings!